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Awesome Corn Crop!
 Moderated by: woodsman777, Poacher
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 Posted: Sat Jan 28th, 2017 01:47 AM
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1st Post
Rockydog



Joined: Tue Jul 26th, 2005
Location: 160 Miles SW Of The Frozen Tundra, Wisconsin USA
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Farmers keep a pretty close eye on their crops and on one fine day in mid-July a friend of mine was out wandering the fields checking for weeds that the sprayer might have missed and any pests that might be present in his corn. The corn was a beatiful deep green and over waist high. In fact, it came nearly to the top of an old hoe handle that he sometimes carried as a walking stick on his rounds. It was apparent that with a little luck and some timely rains it might be a bumper crop.

As he was pondering this, he suddeny felt the call of nature along with a little rumble in his stomach. He turned around to head for his pick up and suddenly realized how far out in the field he had wandered. The pick up was but a small dot out on the knob along the fence where he had left it.

As he considered his options he was delighted to find a blue paper shop towel in his jeans pocket. He had brought it out to wipe the dew off of the side windows of the truck only to find it was not needed.

As he squatted in the corn he marvelled at how the smallest of things sometimes mean a lot in life. Ater he had finished his business he again turned toward the truck. For some reason he thought about something he had read recently about some farmers buying human waste sludge from nearby cities for corn fertilizer. Out of curiosity he walked back and dug a hole by a corn plant with the walking stick. Using the stick he slid the fresh pile into the hole and kicked in enough dirt with the toe of his boot to cover things up. He was just about to walk away when he thought, "How in hell will I find this plant in the middle of this huge field?" He decided that he'd push the hoe handle into the ground beside the plant as a marker.

He looked for the plant a time or two over the summer but once the corn got taller than the handle he had no chance of finding it. By the time fall rolled around he had forgotten all about it. As he came down the rows with the combine the hoe handle caught the corner of his eye. He slammed on the brakes and stopped just before the hoe handle and corn plant were pulled into the combine.

He climbed down out of the cab and moved around the front of the combine to inspect the plant. The results were amazing! There were 12 ears on the plant. Each was as heavy as the single ears on the plants all around it. He pulled out his pocket knife and cut the stalk off so that he could take it and show all of his buddies at the local coffee shop. He carefully placed the stalk in the combine cab and fired the combine up when he remembered that he had forgotten the hoe handle.

He climbed down out of the cab to grab the hoe handle. He reached over and pulled it out of the ground, be damned if there wasn't 3 ears on it too.



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Light hunting rifles; Gravity is permanent, recoil is temporary.Your Choice


 Posted: Sat Jan 28th, 2017 03:23 AM
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2nd Post
Ozark Ed



Joined: Mon Jan 30th, 2012
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I wonder what the old boy had been eating. :confused:



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 Posted: Sat Jan 28th, 2017 08:31 AM
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3rd Post
Snuffy
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Joined: Sun Dec 16th, 2012
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If you told that joke to a group of Farmers, there would be that one that would say. "I did the same thing but mine had 4 ears on it!"



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 Posted: Sat Jan 28th, 2017 01:44 PM
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4th Post
olyeller
Master Handloader


Joined: Sun Nov 22nd, 2009
Location: Just West Of Bruzdenbleedin, Texas USA
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Sounds like a fisherman I know......:wink:



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 Posted: Sat Jan 28th, 2017 02:03 PM
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5th Post
swampratt
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Joined: Mon Nov 30th, 2009
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I thought the hoe handle would turn into a Hickory tree.



 Posted: Tue Jan 31st, 2017 08:32 PM
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Dennis Keith
Master Handloader
 

Joined: Mon Aug 3rd, 2009
Location: Fishers, Indiana USA
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Reader's Digest posted one about a fella that went to the Circus when it was in town for some Elephant dung for his tomatoes. Tomatoes died, but the sticks he had put into the ground to support the anticipated bumper crop had sprouted into Poplar trees and had grown over the summer to be six feet tall. Well Readers Digest just didn't publish stuff that couldn't be proven. So they had sent a researcher to check with the person who had sent them the story. BY the time the researcher got back to the off ice the trees were eight feet tall and still growing.

At least that's how I remember it anyways.



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