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The Wife
 Moderated by: woodsman777, Poacher
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 Posted: Thu Feb 9th, 2017 03:27 PM
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1st Post
Plainsman
Super Moderator


Joined: Mon Sep 3rd, 2007
Location: High Plains
Posts: 12715
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I
clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."

The driver says, "Goodness, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60;
perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly,
dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control"

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his
wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once!!?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful
your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been
higher."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar
detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched
teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing
your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I
took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out
of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have
your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're
driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband
always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking."



____________________
Homo sapiens, [ˈhōmō ˈsāpēənz] Noun. An advanced primate characterized by a large brain which it seldom uses.


 Posted: Tue Feb 28th, 2017 11:09 PM
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2nd Post
Guncrank
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Joined: Tue Nov 16th, 2010
Location: Not So Far From The Virginia Border, North Carolina USA
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Must have written this one about my sister in law!

That women hasn't shut her pie-hole once in the 40 years I've known her! Thankfully her sister (my wife) is the total opposite in personality.

Every now and then you do just fall off the log and through no fault of your own or inspired planning come face to face with that lost gold coin! :thumbs:

Now if I could only hit the lottery for a few hundred'thousand or so. :cool:



____________________
Most evil men will not be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda or by legislation; however, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles.
- Lt. Colonel John Dean "Jeff" Cooper (paraphrased)


 Posted: Wed Mar 1st, 2017 04:06 PM
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3rd Post
Dennis Keith
Master Handloader
 

Joined: Mon Aug 3rd, 2009
Location: Fishers, Indiana USA
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Anything over a couple hundred at a time and Uncle Sugar takes a slice up front, as if they were entitled to a slice.



 Posted: Wed Mar 1st, 2017 08:55 PM
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4th Post
Guncrank
Forum Benefactor


Joined: Tue Nov 16th, 2010
Location: Not So Far From The Virginia Border, North Carolina USA
Posts: 1217
Photo: 
Are you a handloader?: Yes
Favorite type of cartridge to load?: I load everything!
My favorite chambering is:: 8mm Steyr Pistole and 6.5mm Swede Mauser as well as ...
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Dennis Keith wrote:
Anything over a couple hundred at a time and Uncle Sugar takes a slice up front, as if they were entitled to a slice.

Well... As every "good citizen" knows in their hart of hart's, every time you move a nickle from your change purse to the palm of your hand the fed.gov is entitled to a cut of the transaction! :wink:

And anyway, 58% of several hundred thousands is still a workable sum-o-cash in my playbook!



____________________
Most evil men will not be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda or by legislation; however, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles.
- Lt. Colonel John Dean "Jeff" Cooper (paraphrased)


 Posted: Sun Mar 5th, 2017 07:31 PM
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5th Post
Dennis Keith
Master Handloader
 

Joined: Mon Aug 3rd, 2009
Location: Fishers, Indiana USA
Posts: 2167
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Are you a handloader?: No
Favorite type of cartridge to load?: I shoot factory ammo
My favorite chambering is:: 45acp
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Would truly love to learn how to handle such problems myself.



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