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A hooded robber burst into a North Dakota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave North Dakota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from North Dakota tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."
____________________ Never drink down stream from the herd.
A few days after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Maryland man answered his door to find two grim-faced State Trooper officers.
"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife."
"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.
One officer said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news!"
Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."
The officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."
"Lord sufferin' Jesus!" exclaimed Flynn. What could possibly be the good news?"
The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 2 dozen of the best looking MD Blue Crabs that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen crabs like that since the 60's, and we feel you are entitled to a share of the catch."
Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?
"The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
____________________ To the wise one, a prick on the finger avoids a hole in the heart.