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BRITISH SENSE OF HUMOUR!!
 Moderated by: woodsman777, Poacher
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 Posted: Tue Jan 17th, 2017 11:24 PM
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1st Post
RobertMT
Master Handloader


Joined: Sat Jan 17th, 2009
Location: Columbia Falls, MT
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After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, John woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when he realized he had made it home safely.
 
A teenage boy asks his granny: /“Have you seen my pills? They were labeled LSD?”
Granny replies: “ The hell with the pills, did you see the dragons in the kitchen?”
 
Wife gets naked and asks hubby: /“What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?”/
Hubby looks her up and down and replies: /“Your sense of humor!”/ .......(Hospital visiting hours are 5:00 pm. to 6:00 pm.)
 
A chap's wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all he did was suggest they should hold auditions for her part. (His viewing will be Saturday from 7:00 pm. till 8:30 pm.)
 
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
 
I woke up this morning at 11:30 , and could sense something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!
I panicked.  I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's now serve breakfast all day.
 
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door.
She screamed: /"I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"/
I replied:/"Oh, so now you want me to stay!”/
 
Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.  When we went to the fair last night it took me 3 hours
to get her off the Ferris wheel.
 
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.  I told her: /"Only you.
All the others kept me awake all night!"/
(The doctor says I should be able to see again in about ten days. The broken arm will take about a month.)
 



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MSM = sources of misinformation, approved by those currently in power.

It's only a conspiracy theory, if it's not true.

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 Posted: Tue Jan 17th, 2017 11:26 PM
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2nd Post
RobertMT
Master Handloader


Joined: Sat Jan 17th, 2009
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Who pays the Checker ?

There are important questions to be answered about recent LGBT bathroom legislation and whether transgender people will be permitted to use a restroom of the gender that they "identify" with or be required to use the restroom of their biological gender.
 
If the latter, will public restrooms be required to have a Genital Inspection Station posted at the entrance to all public restrooms?
 
Who will have to pay these Pecker Checkers, the people using the restroom, or the entity that owns the restroom?
 
And how much money will a Pecker Checker be paid to check peckers?
 
Or, do we pay a Pecker Checker by the number of peckers checked?
 
How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker could check peckers?
 
What has this country come to when the U.S. Department of Labor has to create a new job description of Politically Correct Restroom Service Inspectors?
 
Want to guess their motto ...........???



 
"If You gotta pee - We gotta see!"



____________________
Fake news sites = sources of information, not censored by those currently in power.

MSM = sources of misinformation, approved by those currently in power.

It's only a conspiracy theory, if it's not true.

Citizens are armed, subjects aren't.


 Posted: Wed Jan 18th, 2017 06:15 PM
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3rd Post
BEAR
Senior Member
 

Joined: Mon Oct 12th, 2009
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:thumbs: :roflmao:



 Posted: Wed Jan 18th, 2017 06:32 PM
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STIHL
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Joined: Sun Jan 24th, 2016
Location: East Central, Mississippi, USA
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That's pretty funny stuff right there.



 Posted: Wed Feb 1st, 2017 10:55 PM
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Old Cop
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Joined: Thu May 21st, 2015
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Maybe they could hire old Navy Corpsmen. Pecker Checker was their second designation. Two of my best friends are retired Chief Corpsmen.



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 Posted: Thu Feb 2nd, 2017 10:42 AM
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daboone
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Joined: Tue Oct 6th, 2009
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Old Cop wrote:
Maybe they could hire old Navy Corpsmen. Pecker Checker was their second designation. Two of my best friends are retired Chief Corpsmen.

While serving on the USS New Jersey they actually had a cake decorated with a pecker dripping.:rolleyes: Marking some milestone number of clap cases treated. Anyone remember Olongapo?



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 Posted: Thu Feb 2nd, 2017 12:39 PM
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7th Post
ghrit



Joined: Fri Apr 14th, 2006
Location: Endless Mountains, Pennsylvania USA
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With all the female sailors these days, I have to wonder if "penis machinist" or "dicksmith" will still be "correct" as a replacement for "pecker checker".



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 Posted: Sat Feb 4th, 2017 05:22 PM
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8th Post
Old Cop
Full Member
 

Joined: Thu May 21st, 2015
Location: VA Beach, Virginia USA
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When were you on the New Jersey? She was parked behind us in Long Beach in '68 when they were bringing her back out.



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Never drink down stream from the herd.


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